I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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