Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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