There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
