Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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