The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
