I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
