I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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