Just cropdusted the office
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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