Define "chronic" masturbator.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
