it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
