Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I love you.
Bad choice
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
