tell your sister to shave her snatch
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
