So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
