I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
