kristin has been a bad kristin
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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