He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Randomize
