Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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