last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize