Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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