Jerry, you need to find god
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
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