We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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