There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Randomize
