Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize