I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
