...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
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