I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
