Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
