giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
