dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
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