hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Randomize
