he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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