My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
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