A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
My vagina just clenched in fear
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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