why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Randomize
