I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
