who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
