Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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