And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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