I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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