1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Randomize
