He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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