nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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