Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
