We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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