you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
