I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
