just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
