whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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