i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
