im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
