Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
