somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
