my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
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