If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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