She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
