White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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