oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
What changed your mind?
Being sober
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
