I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
