your thong is hanging out like whoa
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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