Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
your like the ambassador to my penis.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
