we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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