Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize